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neon vomit girl [entries|friends|calendar]
pukin on le'floor is the way to end my kinda party

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(Gimme Some)

"It Was Well Intentioned But Bad ADVICE" [07 Oct 2010|10:27am]
This crumbling skyline..the masters of ruin, the rubble in the air is war paint for our drawn faces. But I close the front door and open up my mind, consume all the ugly pretty things inside. Collecting all the broken things I might find, on a city street under the bruise sky. Breaking holds so many memories, and stays close like a lover thru time..whispering into my delicate ear..'there is always the escape of breakdown, the comfort of collaspe"..in the grey of a stubborn dawn(like a moth to that drugged' light) i find imperfect arms, and imperfect lips..to speak the words that have to said when things seem to be going this way..and in my imperfect bed..eagar work to be done, the quest to find those maddening places..and the search for that sunset perfect moment. I run the streets..wearing experince like a crown of thorns, each bruise was a kiss, and heartache was the pallet for a masterpiece in the making..but eyes and tones haunt my sleep..hungry to consume what was his all along. A girl made of bits and scrapes, careful instruction for self destruction..and left her dancing a poppy fed' twirl. Perfection burned with the cities, and I armed myself to the teeth..cause you see; imperfection and me..you've got it together.

Yours,
Laurie

(Gimme Some)

"Out In The Kitchen Underneath The Casserole" [16 Jul 2010|02:07pm]
Sleepy summer daze abound and brings desires' incubus touch to my skin..and madness to my mind not dulled by chemical pancreas'. Escape, city street lights and I dance like no one knows the faults written on my skin like tattoos of failure and no way to begin again, i've been loved so furious knives pierced my skin and reach such heights only Icarus and his faulted wings could bring me back down to earths' dead ground. Swallowed secrets and spelled them out again on walls of places my eyes won't ever see, like the admissions of the silent.
Ate the key to my heart, so no boys with bright eyes, teased with mischief can once again enter the confines and chambers of my beating heart, infesting themselves deep inside the cracks and slits, only to wreck havoc all about the lands of my body, and push me closer oh so closer to that glimmering edge, where the wreckage lies below and the suffering of those before me smears the landscape with heartache abound. Gimme city streets and neon light, and crowds of people at 3.am, give me unlikely beauty and kisses so deep, tasting of truth.

(1 Fucker | Gimme Some)

"Stare At The Stars, Fucking Glow In The Dark" [21 Apr 2008|01:35am]
[ mood | frustrated ]

Dear Lover;

I miss you, the shape of our bodies..where everything met perfectly. I miss being beautiful, making myself float on air for you, i'm a dual addict minus one fix, and its' oh so hard. I am standing alone, lying alone..whispering in the dark to nobody. I have become invisible, except to see you. I wear a brave front for our plexi-glass encounters. I am playing 'happy-with-my-solitude', how long can I remain?..I put my hand over my heart, it is still beating, god knows how..for it is only half a heart. As I am half a person, half a mind, half a soul. &when I see you in my eyes, I wince, when you slip yr way into my dreams, the tears on my face smash me violently into reality. My 'life' without you, a farce, a story with nothing to say. The most ridiculous of ventures, never even considered if not forced upon me, and oh how it was. It is too much, how you've become so much, you mean everything, I am defined by you & our love. I hold on purely for the day we shall find eachother, mouth to mouth, hand in hand.

Yours,
Laurie

(Gimme Some)

"I Hope You Blink Before I Do, I Hope We Never Get Sober" [04 Sep 2007|05:34am]
[ mood | calm ]

Its' been so long since words have slid their way across this page.
I almost lost him.
I spent a good deal of hours behind some bars.
My faults are now spread across the table for everyone to take a good
look, you wince but you can't look away. Like a car crash in slow motion..
So I plant my feet, in some muddy ground and raise my eyes to the blue blue sky,
to see my way out of this deep hole we've been digging..I'd just wanted to hang my feet in.
But who takes just one taste of the best thing you've ever had? [someone better than me]

my eyes are like burned out blazing flashes
and the sky is black as coal. &I thought maybe if you
lifted me up on yr shoulders, i could collect stars for
better days. but now that i'm so high up here, i'm just afraid to fall.

Yours,
Laurie

(Gimme Some)

"Because Clever Got Me This Far&Tricky Got Me In ,I'll Take Just What I Came For" [29 Apr 2007|05:18pm]
[ mood | cranky ]

Short days and long nights, i've become a faithful lover to the darkness, and in truth besides that i'm faithless. Everything behind my eyes is dead, and the shine you see is lighted with chemical comfort. You hold yr hand in mine, and we tell eachother that there is more than this for us, that we mean more than one score to the next..Lying to yrself is a skill that takes pratice, to watch yr mouth speak words that mean nothing. To create the picture that is the opposite of yr reality, the nothing words show the world that [it's all ohkay]..You'll never know the places i've been unless you walk this dirty path, there is no kindness here&its' as brutal as an open wound..i'll just take what i came for, then out the door again.

Yours,
Laurie

(Gimme Some)

"Love Wasn't Cruel Just To You" [16 Apr 2007|04:11pm]
[ mood | crazy ]

A lost place, where the words lose meaning...where everything drops off. You tell me its' so simple and I want you to step inside my skin, read the whispers of my head, and i'd love to see you fight. To slip out of obsessions bind, and reclaim all that once lived in these spaces. Fight my battle for me, i'll give it all to you.

Yours,
Laurie

(Gimme Some)

"You Bet Yr Life For This" [21 Feb 2007|12:27am]
[ mood | contemplative ]

&& It's been so long since this voice had anything to say at all..I'd only ask you to hold my hand as I fall, or stick the needle and find that vein..To feel the warmth rise up in me, the happiness I could never achieve on my own...We are empty-eyed soliders fighting a battle within our own battered bodies, my innocence is worn well, and the scars on my arms don't fit with the picture I present, this is what yr supposed to see, a glorified, delicate loving version of me, and underneath she is all veins and bruises, all wanting and greed.. I'd sell my own soul for a bag and a taste..This is not as graceful as I dreamed.

Yours,
Laurie

(1 Fucker | Gimme Some)

"If God Takes Life He's An Indian Giver" [20 Dec 2006|05:39pm]
Dance with me sometime, on the edge of this existance..say yr not so alone cause you want nothing more than this. Losing ambition like a sinking ship, we shake our hips and move our lips and pretend the whole time we're alive, the souls in our eyes burned out a long time ago, when we had to beg steal and borrow to keep on with the show, and hid it well so no one would know..just how far we'd fallen, from our spot in graces.

Yours,
Laurie

(1 Fucker | Gimme Some)

"How Can You Just Walk Away From Me, All I Can Do Is Watch You Leave" [16 Dec 2006|01:20am]
[ mood | confused ]

I am losing my mind
my mind.
my mind.


This place is like a black-hole, its swallowing all the good things i've ever felt. All thats left is the panic and the fear, the cold sweat and the tears lingering right behind my eyes. I have no control, i'm not driving this car..we're all bound for hell. Or madness, its so alluring sometimes, it wears your face to caper around in. Feels more comfortable than you in your very own skin. Lover, don't you know your touching a stranger?.. I'm not in control anymore..Darling, won't you save me from myself tonight?.. From the knife my hands, and the desperation in my eyes. I could end this dance right now, pull the curtain down on it all. I hope one day you'll realize you won't love like this again, hold me in yr arms, keep me safe from harm.

Yours,
Laurie

(Gimme Some)

"No More Thoughts, No More Pain" [08 Dec 2006|01:55am]
[ mood | cold ]

Life is like a spiral, would you believe me if I read you this story, this heartless tale of desperation, honesty is sharp like a knife to the ribs..stealing your breath away,& you can barely believe me..such a devil behind these eyes. Two sides of one girl, and their tearing me to pieces.

misery is becoming.

Yours,
Laurie

(1 Fucker | Gimme Some)

"Where Were You While We Were Gettin' High?" [16 Nov 2006|12:02am]
[ mood | confused ]

and sometimes I swear that i'd be better off dead never imagined my life without me starring, but these days i'm just a bit player on that wide wild stage, and i'm barely breathing.
this is not living[shhh keep a secret]despite the star eyed' glaze gaze, this reality has become a loop&i'm oh so dizzy from the spinning, manic maniac pathetic starlet junkie whore half dead anyway.
love is the line that keeps me tied, from yr hand to mine we are bound, and oh you will follow me down, down down to the ground. a disappearing act..one-two-three..nothing to see here.

Yours,
Laurie

(Gimme Some)

"They Are More Like Stone Than The Sea Would Be If It Stopped" [22 Sep 2006|03:06pm]
[ mood | cynical ]

beliefis an oddity and its' bounds are endless when somebody wants it so bad they can barely understand anything else, belief and the safety net of having faith in another. Like the comfort of a glowing light at night or a lovers' arms to hold you closer; my failings resemble those of a great desperation, someone stumbling of the very edge of normalcy, skidding like wheels on ice towards madness, and a letting go of stability...a free fall into hysteria.

Yours,
Laurie

(Gimme Some)

"A Time Of Innocence, A Time Of Confidences" [13 Sep 2006|07:09am]
[ mood | crazy ]

&again and again again.

i'm wasting time chasing ghosts, cursing the unrequited love of the dead, & if i didn't know what it felt like to wish myself just as gone, to become nothing, and make them sorry that this heart was ever b-r-o-k-e-n. i wonder if i'm following a fallen star's footsteps to the afterlife. &the record spins, and whispers in my ears. like a lullaby for the desperate..our sorrows like brittle twigs under the feet of the world...sing to me a little longer, and i'll wrap my hands around my knees..to love myself like i've been denied. i don't have the fucking strength to save this life.

Yours,
Laurie

(Gimme Some)

"Any Other Time It Could Have Been....Alright" [12 Sep 2006|06:49am]
[ mood | intimidated ]

This song over n' over in this empty place, tracing the footsteps of a dead girl with a sad soundtrack, I could imagine myself in so many places, chasing those haunted spaces, and lying dead with just a voice on the phone saying hey now don't go. but its not enough when yr alone, and the lights don't burn bright enough to just get you home. you walked me home; i can't describe, any other time it could have been alright

the lyrics that speak sorrow bring me here, to a place i've always known. a deep crack in the lining where my faults come out,where the vision blurs. so i'll be a snoop for the tragedies i couldn't stop. && that voice on the phone hey now dont go


Yours,
Laurie

(3 Fuckers | Gimme Some)

"Fruit On The Bottom;Hope On The Top" [21 Aug 2006|10:49am]
[ mood | confused ]

Maybe i'm dying, this drowning inside. Maybe its' growning up and the sky falling down. Sorrow can make a believer out of even the cynic in the impossible. I'm blind and your blind too, even more lost in your teenage fog than me. Don't shut me out you crazy incubus boy, making me do things i've never dreamed, making me weave in and out of this life like a silk ribbon on a strong breeze. Maybe this is the final step in self destruction, the submission of self for a ghost.

Sometimes I feel lost like a knife to heart, sometimes I feel elation like a shot to the vein.
Nobody else could live this wreckage with quite the flair, with the redlipstick and pinned pupils I am primped to the core to be a falling star.

Something with both grace and abandon at the edge of a steep cliff.

Yours,
Laurie

(1 Fucker | Gimme Some)

"These Are The Brakes" [18 Aug 2006|06:49am]
[ mood | cold ]

&are we junkies or lovers, truthseekers or blind mice. Sleep till dawn is a shady dream, make yr pupils small and shined. Make making love a transendence, make us together a suicide mission, a flight going down together, drowning under our romantic notions of desperation.


Yours,
Laurie

(Gimme Some)

"I've Been A Moonshiner For 17 Years, Spent All My Money On Whiskey&Beer" [05 Jul 2006|12:16pm]
[ mood | cranky ]

I love the way the vice takes overbrain on autopilot until it is time.
Today I am nothing but my vices, nothing but the desire to get trashed and live on.
I love brothers who are all slightly similliar, who make me dance and talk about the cynical plots of much loved novels...I love times that I will remember.

I hate waiting though. I hate having nothing and wanting everything, and being alone. &only having one person who can stop it.

Hello Hello, is anyone there? Its so many hours until the sun rises and until then we are all afraid of the dark. Hold my hand, and tell me no lies. Tell me we'll survive, tradgedy infused in yr blood, like a virus of the pathetic..We are on quite a trip, hold on hold on to me.

Yours,
Laurie

[ps/ i still love a sunchild if he reads!!]

(Gimme Some)

"Stuck Here, Waiting For A Passing Feeling" [28 May 2006|03:55pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]

And sometimes its' like i'm dying..sometimes its like the blood has froze in my veins..like the sights behind my eyes are eating me alive.

I feel like a bit player in the play of my life.

The words are lodged behind chemically eroded blocks in my mind.

These days are made for memories.

(1 Fucker | Gimme Some)

"Happy Nation, Living In A Happy Nation" [12 Apr 2006|01:55pm]
[ mood | cold ]

&&I wish I didn't want what i had once, i wish i didn't miss the past like this, bruised and teary eyed. My skin turns those shades so easily these days, I've created some perfect moments in my mind. I'd love to live in them. I love the nights, when I can't see my own face, in the reflection of glass, from a [car] that I love, [i want specifics on a general idea]. i'm writing my own chemical horror story...&i'm not fucking sorry for the sins i'm going to commit. i don't want you to forgive me again, cause this is the game I like to play, and here is a script for you to review, play the kind n' caring car crash voyeur. tell me how we'll look back and this will be a star smitten memory. ¬ just life and death.

Yours,
Laurie

(2 Fuckers | Gimme Some)

"Lends sustenance where starvation's necessary " [22 Mar 2006|03:02pm]
[ mood | cold ]

And i'm spinning, swirling and choking.I've lead myself to death in this chemical i've craved, and i'm dead behind the fucking eyes. Like a solo spun out so long, you just don't know where its' begun. and you don't remember what it was like to be so fucking free of it all. I'm afraid and i'm desperate, i'm aching to be above this wanting once more. I wish i never found out how good it was, I wish i was one who never knew who that king of the castle is. Yours, Laurie

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